Tuesday, September 23, 2008

on being a man

An Example of how slow my growth is into "Manhood"...

I visited an old boss/friend on the east coast the other week and we had lunch at a little Middle Eastern restaurant in quaint Lambertville, NJ.  Since he's three decades older than me and I was always a poor college student through our relationship, he has historically picked up the check whenever we met up.  

But now an adult (I was wearing a button down shirt and dress socks, for god's sake) I fully intended to pick up the tab.  While he was outside taking a phone call, the waitress, young and attractive enough for me to want to impress her said, "Do you guys need anything else?  Or should we not make that decision until the man gets here?"  The Man?  Meaning that I'm "The Boy?"  Or "The Tranny?"  What the hell does that mean?  

I said, "We're all set.  We'll just take the check.  By the way, he's not my sugar daddy or anything like that."  I broke out my Visa.  

"Oh, we only take cash here.  I can get you change if you need it."  Twelve dollars in my pocket for a $20 bill.  I checked and rechecked my wallet as if twenty dollar bills were okapi hiding in the woods, like one would jump out if I was patient enough to keep searching.  

Ten minutes later, she returned asking again if I need anything.  

"No, just waiting for my sugar daddy to come back and pay the bill."  Unbeknownst to me, testicles CAN actually shrivel up and recede back into your torso.  Who knew?  


All the Knots Undone: Now in Syndication in Spokane, WA!

Heard from a friend, Ross, that his friend, Carey, spread the word about this blog to his coworkers in Spokane and they now check it regularly, too.  Thanks for the support, readers I've never met, and this just goes to show you that if you are checking this blog at work, there are people out there with even more boring jobs than mine.