Wednesday, February 6, 2008

bigger and easier than wherever you spent Mardi Gras



This is a squishy toy dog that I haven't named yet. I am open to suggestions. He is my travel companion and I plan on taking him on all my flights. I acquired him at the Krewe of Orpheus Parade in New Orleans, shamelessly jumping in front of old ladies and small children to catch whatever crappy trinkets were thrown from the floats. I snagged enough beads from the outstretched hands of disappointed children that actually wearing them all hurt my neck.

Though my trip to Chicago was thwarted last week, the gods of standby flying could not thwart my indomitable desire to make use of these free flying privileges. Planning ahead, I decided to fly out of Seattle instead of Portland this time and checked the weather forecasts for all the layovers. Had about 12 hrs to kill in the Detroit airport. I tried to sleep on a couch in the Westin attached to the airport since the chairs in the Detroit airport aren't the most ass-friendly, but was woken up by an employee who said, not without a hint of aggravation, "Sir, the Westin has a no sleeping policy because we encourage people to pay for hotel rooms."
"Oh, i understand. I'm sorry," I said shoving a handful of courtesy mints for customers in my pocket before leaving. I'm so low class.

I intermittently read, journaled, slept, watched CNN, made origami owls, until I was called up for the flight to New Orleans and realized, for the first time, I was actually flying somewhere I wanted to go. Not Minneapolis.

My original plan once I got to New Orleans was just to wander the French Quarters all night until morning, munching on andouille sausage and jambalaya and drinking caffeinated beverages to stay awake, then sleep on a park bench once it was daylight. Thankfully though, I was able to find Mike, an old friend from my baltimore days who had a couch that was much comfier and safer than any bench on Bourbon Street. We watched the parade, ate traditional Louisiana chinese food, frequented bars, talked to christians handing tickets out for god (as elton john once said), danced our asses silly, and found our way back to his condo.

While i was sleeping at his place, I woke up horrified to see an ostrich pecking my chest. What I perceived to be an ostrich's beak turned out to be little more than the scissored legs of his cat walking on me, but it was startling at the time. But, if that's the worst that happens to you in New Orleans on mardi gras, then you got off easy. Next day, I had gumbo and gator sausage, repeated questions I had already asked Mike the night before, and flew back to Seattle without any issues whatsoever.

So, is flying standby really more affordable than just getting a plane ticket? Cost of trip aside from food and alcohol (which I'd rather forget):

-$30 for gas to drive to Seattle and back

-$7 for a six pack of beer to give to Mark, another northwest employee who works at the Seattle airport and let me park my car at his place (he also picked me up from the airport when I got back at midnight and cleaned the inside of my car for me while I was gone... a little bizarre for a guy I just met during training)

-$2.00 bus fare to get from the airport to downtown New Orleans, which included, free of charge, the spectacle of a drunk man passing out on the back steps of the bus, the driver cursing out loud as he called for help, and the drunk man sneaking out the back door and wobbling down the street towards downtown

A $39.00 bill for flying round trip to new orleans during mardi gras. Better than Orbitz could get you, I dare say.

5 comments:

Joe Kickass said...

Wow. Our friendship is going on five years now, and I don't think I would be willing to clean the inside of you car. Though I would help you change a tire on the middle of the interstate on our way to hike the Appellation trail...hypothetically.

kimbell1974 said...

I think you should call your dog "Le chien jaune" because that's French for the yellow dog.

I agree with Joe. You should be thankful for that friend who helped you change your tire in Fredneck.

In another somewhat related note, you have a real affinity for things that are yellow. Whatever happened to that stuffed ear of corn you used to have in the corsica?

The Singing Fish said...

How about Cerberus?

Your pooch just gives off that "land of the damned" look.

anelyn said...

that's "king corn" to all of you. it's in his niece's room.

stephen says you should call your dog "yellow jack" for kerouac. but i would go with "monterey jack."

or how about "milo"? neither here nor there.

C-Dub said...

How about.....Mommu.....for My Owner Makes Me Uncomfortable.