Tuesday, March 18, 2008

glory days

I heard from a very reliable source that my old college roommate and fellow chemistry major, Scott Whitman, is hooking up with Jackie LePage. I'm going to let that sink in for a minute. Jackie LePage, aka, JLP. Quite arguably the most attractive chem major ever at the College of New Jersey, though to be perfectly objective about it, chemistry rarely recruits the hot girls with the volume that other majors can like business, psychology, or professional beach volleyball. Regardless, this is quite the feat to be seen publicly with a girl that was the punchline for four years of inappropriate chemistry/sex puns such as "bonding between the sheets" and "backside attack."

So how did he pull off this remarkable accomplishment? Hell if i know; he hasn't returned my texts... probably too busy with JLP, which is perfectly understandable. Anyway, fishermen don't give out coordinates for where they catch the big ones, do they?

Last I saw him in December, he didn't look or act any different from what i remember. That's a good thing; he was a great guy in college and it'd be a shame if he changed. But the point is he doesn't seem to dress any better than I remember, hasn't lost or gained any weight, still smokes and loves television, and certainly hasn't undergone any growth spurts. If anything, he's just grown his hair out into a long mess, and if that's the only thing that was preventing them from getting together in college, well I'm sure he would gladly have saved his ten bucks and not gotten a hair cut every couple months.

I guess the moral is that maybe we didn't all peak during our college glory days. Perhaps we do still have a few good years left to accomplish the things we were supposed to achieve by 21. This might be a good time for me to take another stab at Calc 3 with Dr. Conjura and try to redeem myself after earning the unfathomably low score of zero on the second test.

1 comment:

Joe Kickass said...

You should have been a theatre major. The Girl / Staight Guy ratio is unreal.