But even though I didn't get to my final destination, I wouldn't say today was a total failure. I hopped a plane to Minneapolis this morning as easily as others would catch a bus...easier actually; i didn't have to try and shove crumpled dollar bills through the machine while pissing off the line of passengers behind me. I also got cranberry juice on the plane; a whole can just for me. Had weather not been a factor, I'm confident I'd be eating a Chicago dog right now rather than drinking a coffee I don't want to take advantage of Wi-Fi I don't really need (would it kill me not to check my email for one day?).
The hint of how powerful this flying privilege can be dances in my imagination. Shit, i was excited when i used to get free ice cream at the Museum of Science in Boston. A free flight is like a super waffle cone with sprinkles. The limitations are obvious and at times frustrating: portland, it turns out, only flies directly to three cities right now, Honolulu, Tokyo, and Minneapolis; my future schedule may not even allow me time to travel; and if I get stuck at some airport and can't make it back to Portland for work (as the case may be tomorrow) well, tough shit. I have not proven myself to be an indispensable cog in the Northwest machinery and they will have no trouble replacing me.
But if anyone can take advantage of flights under these restrictions, it's me. First of all, I don't really care where I go, provided it's not the Mall of America again. Secondly, I don't care if I only go for the night... I just want to say I went there, and make all of you with your profitable, dependable 9 to 5's froth with jealousy. Third, I can sleep anywhere, and an airport is a lot more luxurious than a lot of the places I've slept before. I'm determined to take a flight somewhere in the next two weeks while I still have a kick ass schedule. I'm currently working friday, sat, and sunday and have the rest of the week off to fly wherever the FAA allows. I only have this schedule because I'm supposed to be following around a mentor, Roberto, a Filipino who decided it was time to cut my umbilical cord and took the next two weeks off to go to Manila. I told him he was like a father figure to me. He chose not to help me any further that day.
I had planned to post a blog with pictures because how can unillustrated words ever compete in this digital age with your YouTubes and Yahoo! Videos? But, I forgot my camera. Here are some old pics of bathroom graffiti that have nothing to do with this blog posting.
1. "Box of Suck" found in the Men's Bathroom of Reed College. Included in the box of suck: The Bee Gees, Normativity, Hipsters (you know who you are), and lumpy peanut butter.
2. "Avocados are Good for You" found in a gas station bathroom in some western state I can't remember. Possibly written in response to item 3.
3. "White Bride" found next to Avocados are Good for you. Clearly the P of Pride, written by a white supremacist, had been changed into a B by a civil rights activist and I imagine these two gentleman engaged in an open dialogue in front of the urinal until they could agree on one universal truth: that regardless of race, avocados are good for you.
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Q & A
Q: baby brother with libido?! eeewwww!
A: See, now you made my sister upset. Jerks.
Q: did you tell those folks that you biked cross-country? they must think you're some sort of exercise god!
A: I did mention the summer biking trip to some, but regardless of that, it doesn't take a Jack LaLane to be more in shape than the average customer service agent.
Q: Wait...I thought 'Armin' was another name for God.
A: I'm sure I started that rumor at some point and it's probably my constant blaspheming which causes me to be imprisoned in Minneapolis. moses said to pharoah, "let my armin go!"
Q: a seeing-eye, miniature pony? seriously?
A: http://www.guidehorse.com/
Pretty fucking adorable, right?
1 comment:
I'm stoked you gave it the old college try. That's more than I can say for a lot of my friends who live here.
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